Paralanguage simply says – it’s not what you say but how you say it and is a big part of nonverbal communication. We use this nonverbal cue every day. Our tone of voice can reveal an underlying message.

Paralanguage is a component of meta-communication that may modify or nuance meaning, or convey emotion, such as prosody, pitch, volume, intonation etc. It is sometimes defined as relating to nonphonemic properties only. Paralanguage may be expressed consciously or unconsciously.

The study of paralanguage is known as paralinguistics.

Before you dive deep in, here is a quick video with cool real examples to make your journey of exploring paralanguage interesting

Examples of Paralanguage

Is my friend angry or sad? Is the teacher asking a question or making a statement? This most basic understanding of what’s said to you can most often be provided by a person’s use of intonation or the pitch and volume of spoken words. For instance, if the volume of your friend’s speech is decidedly low, then there’s a good chance he’s sad over something. Likewise, if your teacher ends a sentence with a rise in pitch or an upward inflexion, then she’s most likely asking a question. Unless, of course, your teacher happens to be a Valley Girl.

Another form of paralanguage is found in facial expressions. The human face is capable of all manner of articulations and distortions, and each of them can be interpreted in a unique way depending on the situation. For example, a smirk could convey a sense of self-satisfaction or could be a shy response to an embarrassing question. A cocked eyebrow could also signify surprise or inquisitiveness, but many of us might be more familiar with its use in conveying extreme disapproval.

Some of us have perhaps been accused of not being able to talk without our hands. The truth is, though, that this is probably the case for more of us than we might think. Gestures are also a form of paralanguage. Our postures and the positions of our hands can tremendously influence how seriously people take what we say. Slouching with our arms crossed, for instance, communicates a very standoffish or disinterested attitude, so listeners would probably be less inclined to actually pay attention. Pointing, on the other hand, can be extremely effective in indicating or emphasizing something, but we’re often told it’s rude to do in public.

Even the way we breathe can affect how people interpret what we say. Respiration is a combination of physical and vocal paralinguistic elements because we can vocalize, or add sound to, our bodies’ natural process of breathing. A good example of respiration as a form of paralanguage is the gasp, which generally expresses surprise through vocalizing sharp inhalations. Sighs, or vocalized exhalations, are also common and can convey anything from infatuation to exhaustion to ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’

Finally, voiced pauses are also a type of paralanguage. This form of paralanguage is well-known and generally heavily discouraged among teachers of public speaking. That’s because voiced pauses, like ‘uh’ or ‘um’ that interrupt speakers’ words, are incredibly distracting and can make it appear as though they lack confidence in what they’re saying.

While voiced pauses can certainly make us look like we don’t know what we’re talking about, they can sometimes be a good thing. For instance, the voiced pause ‘hmm’ can signal that although a speaker may not have an immediate answer, he or she is willing to give a matter some thought.

Little more to Explore

It’s how you say it – the science of emotions | Dan Emodi | TEDxFrankfurt

All the Best!!!